"Not Tonight Honey..."

“Not tonight honey, I’m cleaning…”

Ahhh, the words every husband dreads and loathes hearing after a long hard day on the job!

I’m going to let you into the secret and surprisingly uncomplicated mindset behind these dreaded words because I want you to know that I care! I understand the frustration of being second to Lysol and latex gloves…

So gentlemen, allow me to explain a five reasons why women not only desire, but need a clean space before they can feel relaxed enough to help “relax” you!

Ambiance Matters.

Let me ask you this… think of your favorite sports fantasy. When you were a kid, did you fantasize playing ball in Ruskin Height’s Middle School’s field or Royals Stadium? When you imagine the perfect cruise vacation, do you imagine fold out bunk beds with an RV sized fold out shower in your room and a peep hole ocean view or do you imagine a lavish king sized Tempur Pedic bed, jacuzzi corner tub, and walk out balcony with an endless ocean to greet you?

Ambiance Matters. Whether you’re wanting a sensual romantic evening or you’re wanting to reenact that scene from the Notebook (we’ve all seen it), you’ve got to start by setting the scene in order to get her into the mood.

No one wants to come up for air only to discover they have dog hair in their mouth and stuck all over their body. No one wants to throw their head back in ecstasy only to realize they wiped tomato sauce from lunch’s accidental spill off the counter with their hair.

Let us clean it up so you can have fun making a mess together with a blank slate!

We need to feel beautiful.

Beauty goes above and beyond ambiance (side note: yes, ambiance will make your queen feel beautiful… I know… it’s hard to understand… but she will feel like royalty when her house is clean).

When a woman feels beautiful, she is confident! When a woman is confident, she is willing to try new things, explore, and take charge in ways that she otherwise might feel apprehensive. She might decide to relax from running the show and let you take the wheel.

Anytime I am going on a new date, into an important meeting, or to try something new, my first action step is to put on my eyeliner. That’s right. I do my hair, I put on my favorite black eyeliner, and I pick an outfit that makes me feel sexy and fierce.

This “beauty ritual” of mine really sets me up not just to be presentable, but to feel intentional, prepared, and ready for whatever I’m about to step into. Every woman’s beauty ritual is a little different, but we all have them.

Every beauty ritual beings with a clean tub and counter top! Best believe, when she’s getting ready and going through her beauty routine in her clean bathroom, her mind is going to be working overtime thinking of all the new and creative ways to wow you… after all, she’s got to channel that confidence in some direction!

We need room for creativity.

Ambiance and beauty are the foundational blocks of creativity for most women. Give your wife the time to be creative by ensuring that her task list is (mostly) checked off.

We live in such a fast paced world! There are zillions of chores and tasks that must be taken care of in order to thrive and achieve various levels of success. These days, 47% of the workforce is made up by women! Men and women are both under enormous pressure to provide for and manage their professional and personal lives… it’s such a juggle!

Many men prefer to outsource traditionally “masculine” chores such as yard work, car maintenance, and fixing appliances around the house because they know their time is valuable and they want to spend their free time intentionally, not doing mundane chores and tasks.

Women feel the same way!

If you can take some of the load off her schedule by removing the need to clean, I guarantee you, she’ll begin thinking of another use for that whipped cream that’s been in the fridge… ice cream not needed. Yes, your favorite dinner will be included.

We want you to be our distraction.

Your wife craves you as her distraction! Please distract her from the mundane and grinding toil of the day to day!

Women get a bad rap because we tend to put chores before quality time with our husbands. The truth is, it all goes back to ambiance… remember? We do not want to let loose and get national geographic until we have the assurance that we are not going to become a human lint brush. A woman does not want to create hours of passionate memory building self-indulgence with you until she knows that her work around the house has been completed.

At that point, after all the chores are finished, she will have the capacity and determination to put everything else aside for the night and be completely and utterly drawn into you as she draws you into her! In what ways will you distract your lover?

We long for spontaneity too.

You want to know why the romance novel industry is so big? Because women love the idea of getting swept off their feet (minus the broom).

Women long to be pursued, fought for, and won over! Marriage is where the real battle and adventure of winning a woman’s heart begins and endures! They say it’s the little things that create or break a solid marriage. It’s the dishes in the sink, the “who left this door unlocked”, the snoring, and whether or not the laundry is put in the basket or beside it. These moments that make the biggest differences.

But…

Sometimes an unexpected impromptu kiss, caress, or even expressed memory can stir up buried passion and breath new flames upon a flickering and dwindling love. The key to great sex is the set up and foreplay. Though it can be work and though it can be challenging, think of your foreplay as an investment.

So, when the love of your life indulges you with a reenactment of the first days when you behaved like breeder mice in the pet store… give her a thank you in the form of a clean house! I guarantee you, if you keep her home clean, you will be hearing, “Tonight…” a lot more often!

Let us take care of the housework so that you can take care of cleaning her up after things get utterly filthy!

(1) https://blog.dol.gov/2017/03/01/12-stats-about-working-women